palms rubbing each other
just another day at the holding room.
how else can they dress up the term
without telling us the truth?
just in case your clenched fists
need to ball into
a bowl of anxiety
where packed foods
make good of the empty tables
you eat and eat and eat
until the doctor waltzes in
where you can, like the term
(hope to mean)
rest from fear,
all to culminate in the single prize
the end of wait.
this open space
with chairs, tables and dust bins
where i wait
for my mother.
every time someone asks me,
who is your hero?
i remember my grandmother’s hands
and how she used to drag me out of bed
"girl, all you have is studying"
she spoke to me in a language my heart understood
my teenage self was too proud to acknowledge.
every time someone waits for my answer,
who is your hero?
i remember my grandmother’s face
and i die inside, slowly every day
i’m beginning to forget her voice
i’m beginning to replace her
with memories unworthy of her rightful place.
every time i have a reply,
who is my hero?
i say the one who birthed me.
that’s nice, girl, how so
oh you know, the one who’d
silence her daughter for the sake of
this is where they shift their feet
they don’t want to hear this either.
it’s lonely in this space,
of always having to defend
being a ‘woman’
the kind i want my self to be.
who is your hero, girl?
there are no words. you type you write but nothing you put down seems to make sense.
for a minute, the possibility of the notion f a t h e r ceasing to exist?
my heart, thoughts, limbs and prayers are with all on MH370. for a minute, i felt an iota of the anguish, the distress and the uncertainty of what the families and loved ones are currently going through.
there are no words.
|Period:||Your stomach hurts.|
|Period:||No it doesn't, eat everything.|
|Period:||Why did you eat all the things, your stomach hurts!|
|Period:||No it doesn't, there's a plate of brownies. Eat them.|
|Period:||Your uterus is pulsing. Change position twenty times to see if that helps.|
|Period:||You want to fuck him.|
|Period:||No you don't, kill him.|
|Period:||You're bored. Let's literally cry about that, shall we?|
|Period:||Never mind, just find people and kill them.|